A New Year with No Expectations
I have been in an intimate, reflective mood recently- so instead of throwing some garbage together and calling it a blog post I have waited.
In the last three weeks since I last wrote, a lot has happened, and a lot is about to happen.
I started a vlog.
I turned 21.
I do my new year resolutions starting on my birthday verses on January 1 because it is personal to me. I have spent a lot of time looking at what happened last year.
What I liked.
What I did not like.
What I want to do differently.
I had goals last year. Things to physically accomplish.
THAT IS A BUNCH OF BOLOGNA!
I think I put pressure on doing things without taking into account the craziness of life. The goals were unrealistic or superficial, not organic. That is why this year, my goals are feelings.
I want to feel: Resourceful, Helpful, Loved, Useful, Important, Self-Loved, Fulfilled, and Belonging.
I do not have specific things I am going to do- I am going to allow these feelings to drive my actions in each facet of my life whether it be personal, church, or ballet. There were a lot of times last year that I was doing my goals but lacked self-love or fulfilled or whatever the feeling was. I will only be doing activities that bring these feelings which in turn and theory will bring a full year.
Speaking about another year-
One year ago, Ballet Austin offered me a contract!
I was freaking out that day, and I wrote: "The Odyssey, Chasing the Dream is now The Odyssey, Living the Dream."
I have spent the year living my dream. Although living the dream has been incredible, I had no idea that I would suffer from disappointment or even depression. That was not part of my idea of "living the dream."
I am fortunate to announce that I will be returning to Ballet Austin for another year in their second company!
A friend told me to "dance with no expectations. Dance because I love to dance." I will get my hopes up and disappointed with expectations of dancing. This second year at Ballet Austin will have its difficulties. That is why I am just going to dance. Nothing else. I do not care about anybody's opinion.
Just pure dancing.
This year, I am taking myself in all facets of life to the next level. You heard it here first, people.
Cheers to another year of life, another year at Ballet Austin, and another year living the dream.
Photo by Lindsay Thomas