Six months was the last time I was back home in Boston. December 29th, I was able to return home!! And I was home till January 9th which was my longest stay home since I left a year and half ago.
Yes, I did miss all the holidays and my mom's birthday, but it was so great just being home. I love living out in Seattle but it always great to get out of normal life to visit new scenery... well old scenery in this case! I try my best to keep up with friends via social media, phone, and texting but it is definitely not the same as being with them in person, even if it is for a few minutes.
The first half of my trip, I spent with my family. I came home to a full fridge and homemade ravioli for our first meal. Eating at home was never a problem for me, especially with my dad at the helm of the kitchen. We watched movies together, most notably Stars Wars: The Force Awakens. The second half of my trip consisted of seeing all my friends. It was amazing to get into people's lives and catch up. I was honestly inspired by the people from home. Everyone I talked to was not only encouraging to me but also they talked about their adventures in life. The ups and the downs. The good and bad. Hearing the vision people have for their own lives was so helpful for me to see and helped me have vision for my future.
As I come home, I come home to the start of auditioning and the start of making a career out of dance. There is a lot of uncertainty in this upcoming year as I talked about in my last post. It is easy to lose vision for yourself and self doubt can seep into your life. I feel like I was doubting myself a lot in December, not knowing what is next for me and my life. A beloved teacher, Dr. Kai Bynum, from the Roxbury Latin School, my alma mater, gave me this poem to read.
“I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.
We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.
Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.
This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.”
My favorite line is, "I learn by going where I have to go." I have do not necessarily know where my life will go but dancing is my desire. I will learn by pursuing dance. It won't make sense where, when, or how but I do understand why. I feel called. Dancing is calling me and I want to make that happen.
Being home was rejuvenating for me. I needed the rest, the change, and the inspiration. 2016 really starts for me today. I am ready to embrace the year, the unknown, and the adventure.