Not What I was Planning on

wow

This is really not the post I wanted to write about.

In fact, I was going to publish a post about my latest adventures in Seattle.

But now I have to set that post aside to share some sad news.

I have been dealing with a lot of pain in my groin and abdominal for the past two weeks. I have been going to PT and resting in order to get ready for my end of the year show, Next Step. After a three day weekend, I got back to class and I was still in pain doing simple tendues. How could I still be in this much pain? I need to see the doctor.

When I go to the doctor, that means I am in a lot of pain. I also need answers. I have a show in 3 weeks. Can I perform or not?

Today I went to my doctor and got my leg and pelvis examined. 

He just listed off 5 possible things that could be wrong with me.

I knew I was out when he listed all that. That was not a good sign! We took a few x-rays to rule out two possible answers. That leaves 3 possible problems. Two of them are strains in muscles, but the other one which is most likely is a sports hernia. 

The thing with a sports hernia is that the doctor cannot rule my injury as a sports hernia before everything else is ruled out. He is pretty sure that is a sports hernia and from all that he is saying and knowing my body, I too believe that it is a sports hernia.

Tomorrow, I get an MRI and then on Monday I go back to the doctor to look at the MRI. If it is a sports hernia, I might need to get surgery which is scary. I don't want to get too far in my thinking before I know what is really going on in my leg. It does me no good to stress about what my injury could or could not be. I have to wait and trust the doctors.

So I can live with ONLY the facts.

What are the facts?

WHAT I DO KNOW, is that I am DEFINITELY OUT for my end of the year show and that is truly devastating. I had the privilege to have three different choreographers create movement on me. The process of learning, trying, and pushing my limits has been incredible and it is too bad that I will not be able to perform it.

You might be thinking about my future as a professional, my recovery, and my contract starting in September. In the worst case scenario, I still should be okay for the start of my season in September which is really comforting. My true purpose and job right now is to get my body ready for Austin! 

Now what?

I have 18 days in Seattle with barely any responsibilities. What am I going to do with myself?

Great question, Matt!

I could be really depressed and lay on my couch all day

OR

I can actually live life in a new way! I get the opportunity to really celebrate my time in Seattle by having more time to spend with friends and explore the places I love about Seattle or have yet to experience. I can work on photography and on my writing. My parents are still coming out to Seattle. They will not see me perform, but I will get to hang out with them more in my last few days of Seattle which is exciting. 

This day has been extremely humbling and hard to learn that I will not be able to do what I love, but that will not stop me from exploring another part of my life. Never stop exploring because life is too short to waste (RULE 83). 

Thank you for all your support and I cannot wait to share my life with you over the next 18 days!

Cheers to getting back to what I love! This will be me once again very soon!

Photo by Lindsay Thomas