I have just completed my first season with Ballet Austin as an apprentice after performing in the production, Alice in Wonderland. The production was fantastic! The experience was truly my favorite of the season. The shows were sold out, and the crowd gave me so much energy and enthusiasm. The shows were truly magical for me as a performer. Leading up to the shows, I was quite busy trying to put the whole production together. I had long days, and my body was crawling to the finish line of the season.
All the while, I was still tackling my therapy and figuring out a lot in my head and spirit. The last two weeks have been full of victories.
On Monday- I finished therapy.
Your boy made it!
Look- no one is ever "finished" with therapy, I sure will need to continue to figure my life out, but I have come to the point of peace, where I have let go of my past hurt, and I am ready to move forward in life.
I AM FREE!
I am ready to fly to my next part of my life, to learn, and to grow.
Before I talk a bit about what brought me over the edge of releasing a lot of things in my life, I just need to say thank you. When I started to write about all of my depression and therapy since March, I had no idea I would get the response that I did. So many people have messaged me and called me to encourage me or to share their life story. YOU- you have helped me grow and tackle some deep hurt in my heart, and I cannot thank you enough. Thank you for continuing to inspire me to live life when I was at a place full of fear. You gave me faith in a life that is worth more.
What helped me is the word genuine.
I have prided myself and my whole life at being the hardest worker you have met. I would always give 110% in every relationship and project.
That is not a bad thing, except I took that hard work the wrong way.
When you work hard, there is a grind mentality that loses yourself as a person within whatever you are pursuing.
Don't work hard, work GENUINELY (RULE 113).
When you are genuine with your work, you are also conscious of yourself and how you feel within that work. A lot of my hurt came from not recognizing myself in situations and not sticking to boundaries that I have in my life.
Be mindful (RULE 114).
Be aware of oneself (RULE 115).
So much of my walk with God was a grind mentality. I need to read my Bible more; I need to prayer longer, I need to do, do, do. I was not thinking about my person within my relationship with God. That is true with friends as well. I was not aware of myself in friendships, and I was not sticking up for my self-worth.
Once I recognized this, I was able to let go.
I dropped everything.
I am strong.
I am ME.
You deserve greatness- do not sell yourself short (RULE 116).
Again, thank you to all who have inspired me to keep fighting. Even if you just read some of the articles and never said anything, I am forever grateful and inspired. Feel free to reach out to me. I am an open book and want to help those who are hurting. I know the pain- I have been shackled for months. But now I am free, and I am ready to be genuine.