A Life Worth Falling For
I am starting to adjust back to studio life this week, but my sleep has been horrible which has really affected me. Either I cannot fall asleep or I keep waking up throughout the night.
When I wake up to work out at 5 AM, there is no way I can get up and move my body because I feel terrible. I try to go back to sleep, but the extra hour or so does not really help during the day.
I say all of this because I feel like I am dragging in rehearsals. I feel that I am behind everyone else mentally. I am not crisp or fresh- I am just there in the studio.
As I talked about in my last post, it is easy to allow life to hinder us from our work. My lack of sleep has caught up to me at times this week, and maybe I should reread last week's post. Regardless, I do not feel my best is being put forward. A teacher said this to another guy in class, but this statement resonated greatly within me.
"If you are not falling, then that means you are not trying."
This statement is now RULE 103 - Here is why.
A lot of people are afraid of falling. At times, so am I. Who wants to fail? NO ONE. We want to be known for our successes, not our failures. This statement is saying to fall - FAIL! In the fear of falling, you may not try something that could bring you success. You can live a life that you know, or you can live a life in faith of what you desire and pursue that life with all your heart.
The first option - live a life that you know - is complacent. It may be a comfortable life, but there is no growth. There is no goal. That lifestyle is just living to live.
The second option - live a life in faith of what you desire and pursue that life with all your heart - is scary and exhilarating. There will be rapid change and movement within your life. You will be called to adapt to that change. That adaptation brings growth and ultimately will bring you to that life that you desire. In doing so, you will fail- some more than others- but everyone will fail.
Going back to the original statement of discussion - If you are not falling, then that means you are not trying - cannot be more true. I have discussed this topic a lot within this blog, and I could go on about pursuing your passions and all that good jazz, but I want to talk about effort.
As I feel slow within my body, I need to continue to push myself to the limits while I am at ballet. I am not saying you have to keep this insane level of effort 24/7 because no one could do that, and you would burn yourself out if you tried. What you can control is giving your best 24/7. My best will look different everyday because of different factors, one of which being a lack of sleep for whatever reason. If I give my best, then I am allowing myself to fall and in turn, continuing my pursuit of my life as an artist.
I will take any help on sleeping because this week has been rough. Let me know in the comments below.
Also, Ballet Austin Second Company finished our piece with Michelle Thompson Ulerich as talked about in last week's post. Also mentioned in last week's post was the ballet, Quiet Imprint, and we have been rehearsing that all week. The ballet is starting to come together which is really exciting! This will be a hard ballet to perform, but I love the challenge at hand.
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